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lyrics

Extraordinary

A park before dusk. Brian, in mask, enters. He looks around, checks phone. After a moment, Angela, also in a mask, appears. They see each other. Wave. They remove their masks for recognition.

BRIAN
Are you JaneAustenSpace22?

ANGELA
KimchiWolff with two effs?

BRIAN
Right.

ANGELA
Sooo....

BRIAN
Is this a date?

ANGELA
I don’t know.

BRIAN
So. JaneAustenSpace22.

ANGELA
Yes?

BRIAN
Ever meet JaneAustenSpace21?

ANGELA
A total bitch.

BRIAN
That’s what I heard.

ANGELA
So, Kimchi—

BRIAN
Brian.

ANGELA
Angela.

BRIAN
Hi, Angela. Sit?

(They sit on a bench, judging the distance subtly—six feet apart?—
adjusting slightly. They remove their masks entirely. Awkward pause.)

ANGELA & BRIAN (to themselves)
This is the best date I’ve had in months.
This is the first date I’ve had in months.
Do we hug?
Can we kiss?
Is it safe?
Will I catch something I can’t handle?
Will I feel something I can’t handle?

BRIAN
It’s nice to see you I-R-L.

ANGELA
Huh? Oh, “In Real Life.” Yes.

BRIAN
You’re really funny online.

ANGELA
Thanks.

(Pause. He looks eagerly at her, expecting “funny.” She’s at a loss, so all she can blurt out is:)

ANGELA
That’s. A. Suit.

BRIAN
This? Yes. It’s a suit.

ANGELA (to herself)
You’re bombing.
You’re super bombing.
Like carpet bombing the date.
This date is a war crime.
And now you’re in the Hague.

BRIAN (to himself)
You’re boring.
You’re super boring.
She’s practically asleep.
You’re human Ambien.
You’re even boring me.
(to Angela)
I haven’t read Jane Austen’s books,
but I was hoping you could tell me about them?

ANGELA
I don’t know what you’ve heard,
but I don’t do English Lit on the first date.

BRIAN
See, that’s funny!

ANGELA
What do you do?

BRIAN
Malware protection.

ANGELA
Not funny.

BRIAN
Unless you make a virus joke.

ANGELA
Pass!


BRIAN
Can I ask why you said yes? To this?

ANGELA
I liked your smile.

BRIAN
I liked your jokes.

ANGELA
I liked your dog.

BRIAN
I liked your bookshelf.

ANGELA
I liked your eyes.
Present tense! Like. I like your eyes.

BRIAN
I like present tense your eyes too.
I’ve been alone a while.

ANGELA
Me too.

BRIAN
I’m not sure I remember.

ANGELA
I’ll draw you a diagram.

BRIAN
PowerPoint?

ANGELA
Paper.

BRIAN
How quaint.

ANGELA
Ain’t it, though?
Fancy paper. Real handwriting.

BRIAN
Real hands.
I wish we could hold hands for a moment.

ANGELA
I wish we could hold hands for a moment.

ANGELA & BRIAN
But it’s not safe, not safe.
If this were a date on an ordinary day,
a boring, dumb, humdrum day,
anything could happen.
Anything, anything, anything!
But today…
Touching hands would be extraordinary.
Sitting close would be extraordinary.
A goodbye kiss would be extraordinary.
But it’s not safe, not safe.
Must be careful, must protect.
Wear a mask to deflect
the sudden fleck,
which infects,
and don’t even think of having se—

ANGELA
Want to walk a bit?

BRIAN
Yes, let’s stroll in the gloaming.

ANGELA
Look at you: “the gloaming.”

BRIAN
Thought you’d like that.

ANGELA
Jane Austen would approve.

ANGELA & BRIAN
If only this were a date on an ordinary day…

(They walk away, as dusk falls.)

[The End]

credits

from In Real Life, released July 8, 2022

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American Modern Recordings New York, New York

American Modern Recordings (AMR) specializes in recordings of contemporary classical music, with an emphasis on music by living American composers. AMR is also the house label for the American Modern Ensemble (AME) and its affiliated ensembles. Our albums are critically-acclaimed and top-sellers on Amazon, CDBaby, iTunes, and everywhere recordings are sold. ... more

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